Stressed. toxic. Harassed. You feel those on extremely hectic days. Busy. Loaded. That's on a regular day.
Modesty aside, mothers are super humans, the responsible ones, that is.
A normal day would mean waking up at 4:30AM, nursing, cooking breakfast and lunch for my daughter and husband, while the coffee is brewing, eating breakfast, bathing baby, putting him to sleep, cooking lunch (it's around 8:00AM) just in case Marcus would not be giving me time to cook lunch and dinner for the rest of the day. The rest of the day would be a cycle of browsing the net, FB, cooking, eating, nursing. No rest? Most days, yes. Don't forget that I have a helper so imagine my life if I didn't have one. (We don't let our helpers cook. We're sort of strict on that one.)
I have four kids, two of which can survive on their own. My baby and my toddler, though, are totally a handful. Having four kids has made me more efficient. I'm all for effort and time-saving measures
For example, I bring down frozen meats from the freezer to the chiller part before I go to sleep so that the meat is thawed already when I wake up. Or I start stewing something before the baby wakes up so that there's something going on in the stove while I cuddle with Marcus.
Honestly, on some days, I would be so tired I would be asleep by 7PM. It's sure is streesful sometimes especially when the baby cries while you're still in the bathroom.
My prize comes from thinking that, at least, I am here for my children and that I cook their meals. That I know what is happening to them or if what they're eating is good and clean. Peace of mind is my greatest reward.
So on days that I feel harassed, I just try to pace myself and try not to get serious about it all. I know it will pass.
My mother was a full-time mother and wife. We were surely taken care of (and monitored, if you know what I mean). I don't think I can be a full-time mom like her. But while I am, I have to remind myself to savor the chance.